


The one I love

by Yulya18



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Development, F/M, King Eddard, Kingdom of the North, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:26:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2530562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yulya18/pseuds/Yulya18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prince Rhaegar never meets Lyanna Stark and the Kingdom of the North has been independent from Westeros for generations. Now King Rhaegar proposes a marriage between lady Cersei Lannister and King Eddard Stark. She agrees reluctantly, wanting to be queen but unwilling to stop loving her twin brother.</p>
<p>Will she give her husband a chance or will she reject his growing feelings?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The one I love

Things had not gone according to the Lannisters’ plans.

After the tourney at Harrenhal, Tywin had assumed that after winning the tourney, Prince Rhaegar, with his love for beautiful things, would be captivated by the exquisite Princess Lyanna Stark. That fascination would have driven him to take her away and it would have been the perfect excuse to start a war.

A war that would have given the Lannisters control over the whole kingdom. After all, Tywin, due to his position of Hand of King Aerys, had always been aware of Prince Rhaegar’s obsession with having another child and the lengths he would have gone to in order to get him.

But, Tywin thought again, things have not gone according to his plans.

Not only had Rhaegar lost the tourney, but the princess in question had arrived at the arena with her betrothed, attentive to his every move and unwilling to be separated from him for more than five minutes. So both had never crossed paths and Tywin had to return to King’s Landing seething with anger and frustration.

After the wedding of Lyanna and her betrothed, Robert Baratheon, both had settled in Storm’s End. It hadn’t been long before she became pregnant with Robert’s future heir. Her family, who had been on friendly terms with the Baratheon family for generations, were also elated by the news. By that time, King Aerys had succumbed to a debilitating illness and died, leaving Rhaegar and his wife, Elia Martell, as the new rulers of Westeros.

Tywin, thankfully, had remained in his position and after some careful thinking, finally decided to subtly encourage the king to marry his only daughter. When he wrote to inform her of his plan, she had completely agreed, having always desired to be queen. Of course, she would only be a second wife to the king, but there were ways to get rid of the rightful queen and their dragonspawn.

Therefore, Tywin prompted his children, Jaime and Cersei, to travel to King’s Landing and didn’t miss any opportunity to put his child in the king’s path. And Rhaegar certainly started noticing her, something that pleased both father and daughter greatly. Therefore, the Lannisters’ shock was great when instead of asking for her hand in marriage, the king announced that he was planning to marry Cersei to the King in the North, Eddard Stark.

The Kingdom of the North had once been part of Westeros until Torrhen Stark, Eddard’s grandfather, had raised his army and fought the Targaryens to obtain the North’s independence after centuries of oppression. And the king, wanting to avoid bloodshed and destruction, had finally agreed to their terms. Thus, the Northmen had returned to their old customs, which dated to the days of the first men.

And after so many years of peace, King Rhaeghar wanted to create new ties between the North and the other kingdoms, finding no better way of achieve it than with a wedding.

When Tywin told his daughter of the king’s decision, she was livid. How could she be forced to marry a nobody? Because she didn’t care that he was a king, he was still the ruler of a wasteland, a place so far from everything she knew and loved.

So far away from her beloved Jaime.

Her father had also been angry with her betrothal, even more when a raven arrived, carrying King Eddard’s acceptance to the marriage. But in the end there was nothing to be done. He was a "faithful" servant so he couldn’t protest his master’s wishes, not if he wanted to remain in a position of power. Besides, even if Eddard Stark was the king of a faraway land, he was still a king. One with whom his master wanted to negotiate and Tywin would definitely take advantage of it. Therefore, he started making plans for her daughter’s journey to the North.

 

 

Cersei, on her part, was trying to find a way to keep her brother close to her.

Ever since they had been children, she knew that she loved Jaime. And it wasn’t just a sister’s love, but one that she wouldn’t take long to recognize as the love only a woman could feel for a man. She had always told him so and even though he had never told her he loved her, she had always been certain of it. Just as she was certain that now that she was soon to get married, he would succumb to her womanly charms and finally make her his. Knowing that after so many years, she would finally fulfil her greatest dream of giving her maidenhead to her twin. That was the only thing that would give her the strength she needed to bear what was coming.

That same night she put her plan into action.

She wore a sheer nightgown, covering herself with a robe before leaving her chambers and going to her brother’s. She knocked softly and smiled at him as soon as he opened the door, allowing her entrance and closing the door behind her.

“Cersei, what are you doing still up?” – he asked her, looking for a tunic to cover his chest.

“Have you heard? About my wedding to that king?” – she inquired, not trying to get close to him yet. First she needed for him to confess his love for her.

“Yes. I’m going to miss you, sweet sister.” – he told her, coming to her now he was covered and hugging her. It was true. She had been with him since they were in the womb, but now it was time for her to follow her own path.

“I don’t want to marry him.”

“Don’t be scared, Cersei. Everyone says he is an honourable man. He will never hurt you.” – he comforted her. Because knowing that had calmed his nerves, too.

“I just want to be with you Jaime.” – she finally confessed, looking up into his eyes.

“I would want nothing more than for you, Tyrion and I to stay together always. But this is the way it has to be.” – Jaime reminded her gently.

At the mention of her brother Tyrion, Cersei frowned. She was aware that Jaime had always loved his little brother, whereas she only tolerated him, still not forgiving him for her mother’s death. It was a weird mixture of feelings for her because even though she blamed him, part of her still wished he would always be protected. Especially from their father who truly hated him and never hesitated to let the five-year-old boy know it every time he could.

“Cersei?”

“I’m sorry. I was just thinking.” – she excused herself. She lowered her arms and stepped away from her brother, playing with her robe strings. – “Jaime...”

“Yes?”

“You know I love you, right?”

“Yes.”

“And do you love me?” – at this, she turned around looking him straight in the eye.

“You know I do, sweet sister.”

“Then show it to me. Show me how much you love me.” – she finished and untied her robe, letting it pool around her feet.

“Cersei! What are ...?” – Jaime was so shocked he couldn’t even complete his question. He simply went to his sister and wrapped her robe around her again. – “This is wrong, Cersei.” – he explained to her.

“But I love you.”

“And I love you, too. But not like that, Cersei.” – Cersei felt tears well up in her eyes. Her brother, her Jaime, was rejecting her. A cold fury filled her entire body and she pushed him away with all her strength.

“So you will have me be in a stranger’s bed? Is that it?” – she screamed. – “Would you rather I were in that wasteland, surrounded by strangers and valued only for opening my legs and birthing his children?”

“Cersei stop!” – Jaime ordered her, hugging her. She tried to fight him, but in the end she just cuddled up with him and held him tight.

“I don’t want to go.” – she whispered, hiding her face.

“You have to. Father has already arranged everything. And only your husband has the right to lie with you.” – he reminded her. His father had made sure to have everything ready as soon as possible. He had told his firstborn that he wanted to have the wedding and bedding dealt with so he could gain both kings’ favours. Jaime, of course, had been concerned when Tywin had told him that, but he stayed silent as usual.

However, that didn’t seem to be what she wanted to hear because she left the comfort of his arms and tied her robe, walking to the door.

“Cersei...” – her brother called.

“I have to go. There is still much to do before our departure.” – she said, leaving the room without looking back.

 

* * *

 

A month later, Cersei finally arrived in Winterfell, the capital of the northern kingdom.

She would lie if she said she had enjoyed the journey. Never in her life had she felt as uncomfortable and cold as now. Her father spent the whole journey reminding her of her duties and how he expected her to get pregnant as soon as possible. He particularly reminded her that she was a lion and that her children had to be lions too, not wolves.

Upon their arrival to The Neck they encountered King Eddard’s men, selected by the king himself to guard his betrothed. Tywin showed his pleasure for this action, already assuming that his daughter would have no problems manipulating the man. Cersei, obviously thought the same, but her thoughts were more related to avoiding having him in her bed often more than anything else.

By the time they arrived in Winterfell, the king and his men were waiting for them in the yard. As soon as her carriage stopped, the king stepped closer to help her get off. Cersei, while looking at her betrothed for the first time, noted that his hand felt very cold to the touch. He wasn’t what could be considered handsome, but he wasn’t bad-looking either. His hair was very dark and his skin as pale as a sheet. But there was something in his grey eyes, something so mesmerising, that her breath caught in her throat and she felt a shiver run down her back.

“Welcome to Winterfell, my lady.” – he greeted her, raising her hand to kiss it.

“Thank... thank you, Your Grace.” – she whispered so low he struggle to hear her.

After the introductions, the king ordered some of his servants to take care of their belongings and to take them to their rooms, before leaving with a man she assumed was his Hand.

She didn’t get the chance to see him until their betrothal feast and later their wedding in the Godswood.

That had been another strange experience for her. Since she was a child she had been taught to worship the Seven, so having a wedding in front of a heart tree instead of in a sept had seemed quite uncivilized for her. But even as she thought that, she couldn’t deny that there had been something indescribable but magical in that place.

They exchanged vows and after taking off her cloak he took off his and wrapped it around her shoulders, keeping it close with a direwolf clasp. ‘We are married now’, Cersei thought, dread filling her body. She was now one step closer to the bedding ceremony.

“You are a lion. Act like one.” – her father told her sternly, sensing her desperation, but not caring about it. She could only take a deep breath before her husband was took her hand and guided her to the feast hall for the celebration.

She couldn’t remember much of it, anxious as she was. But what she could certainly remember was when hours later, some of the king’s men started screaming for the bedding ceremony to start. Before she knew what was happening, the men pulled her out of her seat and took her out of the room, making bawdy jokes while ripping her gown and small clothes. To her relief, as soon as they pushed her to her new chambers, they left.

She looked around trying to find something to cover herself with, but there was nothing and even thought there was a fire burning in the hearth, she was so cold she practically ran to the bed and covered herself with the all the furs there. After a while she began feeling warmer and was just about to fall asleep when the door opened again and in came her new husband. As her, he was as naked as the day he was born while several ladies kept pushing him inside the room, closing the door in between giggles.

Eddard noticed she was already in the bed and walked towards her looking as anxious as her, at least in her opinion. He slid under the covers too and lay on his side, giving her an intense look. Cersei felt like she needed to say something, anything to break the tense silence.

“Your Grace...”

“Ned.”

“What?”

“My friends and family call me Ned.” – he explained, extending one hand to wrap a lock of her blonde hair around his finger. She felt extremely uncomfortable by this, but didn’t dare to pull away. Her father needed this marriage to work if he wanted to achieve his goals. She needed this marriage to show she was capable, powerful leader.

“I could never dare to call you like that, my lord.” – she said. He dropped her hair as if burned and nodded.

“Perhaps in time, my queen.” – he said, breathing deeply before moving his body closer to hers.

She understood his intentions and lay on her back, wishing for it to end quickly. Ned got on top of her and rested his lower body between her spread legs, but didn’t enter her instantly as she had expected. Instead he kissed her, supporting his weight on his forearms. She responded tentatively, feeling the same shiver she felt when she met him for the first time.

He touched her body gently to get her to relax and somewhere deep inside herself she appreciated it. But another part of her could help but wish he would just get on with it and leave her alone. She parted her legs wider to cradle him better between them. He tried to put one of his hands on her centre, but she grabbed his wrist and shook her head.

“Just do it, please.” – she asked him.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Just do it.” – she repeated, losing her patience.

He obliged and guided his cock to her entrance, entering her slowly until he reached her barrier. He looked into her eyes and kissed her at the same time he pushed his hips forward, finally buried completely inside of her heat. She was so tight that he groaned, but forced himself to stay still until she told him to move.

As soon as he entered, her body tensed. She wanted to cry out from the discomfort she felt, but she willed herself to release the tight hold she had on his shoulders and make him move. She thought it would be better to just imagine it was Jaime on top of her instead of her husband.

“Move.” – she ordered.

He tried to go slow at first, but she was wrapped so perfectly around him that before long he was pushing harder and harder inside of her. He was nearly blinded by his pleasure, but not so much as to forget hers. He sat on his heels and cupped her bottom to keep his deep thrusts.

“Mmm...” – she moaned, unable to contain the unexpected pleasure she was feeling with the new angle of penetration.

“Cersei... Cersei...” – Ned groaned, desperate to find his climax in his wife’s body, desperate to fill her womb with his seed and marked her as his. He put one of his hands between her legs and her moans turned into screams when he started touching her little nub.

“Ned... Ned!” – she screamed without realising how she was calling him, tightening her channel so hard around his manhood that he only needed to thrust two more times to find his release.

He sagged on top of her, both breathing heavily and without the strenght nor the will to move. A few minutes later, though, Ned rolled to the side and tried to pull his wife to rest next to him, but she wouldn’t budge.

“Did I hurt you?” – he asked her, assuming that was the reason why she was acting now

“You didn’t” – was all the answer she gave him, covering herself better with the furs and closing her eyes to sleep. Or at least pretend to, but he didn’t need to know that.

 

* * *

 

After breaking her fast the next morning her father expressed how pleased he was that the marriage had already been consummated. Cersei herself showed no signs of sharing his feeling.

The night before had been so confusing to her. He had been patient and had touched her with something akin to reverence. She had expected him to see only to his pleasure like she knew men were prone to, but he had made sure she felt so much pleasure and reached her release before him.

Evidently, she didn’t tell her father that. She knew he wouldn’t care even if he ended up raping her, as long as he kept her as queen and put babies in her womb.

 

 

The next eight weeks passed pretty much the same way.

The king would visit her chambers every night, always taking her on the bed. As in their first coupling, he always made sure to pleasure her first and eventually she allowed him to touch her centre before entering her. He sometimes tried to get her to take control too, but she didn’t seem interested, always letting him in charge and imagining it was her brother who was taking her.

That night however something changed.

Her husband entered her rooms before the usual time and instead of going to her, he sat down heavily in front of the fire. She had been taking a bath when he came in, so she hurried and covered herself with a robe before going to him.

“Are you alright?” – she asked anxiously.

“Yes.” – he said brusquely. It was obvious to her he was lying, but it wasn’t her job to comfort him. She turned around to go back to her bath but he grabbed her wrist to keep her in her spot. – “Today it’s been five years since my parents died.” - Oh, Cersei thought.

“I see.” – she muttered, not really knowing what to say. She had lost her mother too but she didn’t like thinking and even less talking about it.

“I went to the godswood to pray for them. But I still miss them. My brother still misses them.” – he explained and she understood that. Benjen had the chance to know them so it was only natural that their passing weighted heavily on him. Gods, even Tyrion missed their mother terribly and he hadn’t even known her. She couldn’t help but empathise with her husband’s pain.

“I know you both miss them, Eddard. But I don’t think they would want you to be miserable because of what happened.” – she told him, not knowing why but raising her hand and running her fingers through his hair, calming him. – “You can still mourn them, but you have a life to live and can’t let their ghosts prevent you from living it.” – she finished, sharing what a part of her felt. The part of her that loved little Tyrion and had always felt her heart tighten painfully whenever he hesitated to come near her for fear of being yelled at.

Eddard finally raised his head and looked at her. She found admiration and pride in his eyes and also something more primal. Something she couldn’t or wasn’t ready to describe.

He pulled on her wrist until she stood between his legs. He pulled on the strings of her robe and pushed it off her shoulders, leaving her completely naked. She tried to cover herself but he took hold of her hands and nuzzled her belly laying butterfly kisses on her skin. She felt her heart beginning to beat faster and was sure he could feel it too. She tried again to step away but he had a tight hold on her hips now.

“Stay.” – he pleaded and she had no other choice but to comply.

He licked the skin of her belly, moving his hands to touch her waist and the underside of her breasts, hearing her moan softly. He finally raised his lips and took one of her nipples into his mouth, earning a whimper from her. He sucked her nipple until it was completely hard and gave the same treatment to the other. She tightened her fingers around the back of his neck, pulling him closer still. To her disappointment, he released her nipple and pushed her away slightly, making her feel inadequate for being rejected.

But rejecting her was the last thing on his mind. He simple stood up and started taking off all his clothes. Once he was as naked as her he sat again and this time he made her sit on top of him, with each leg on either side of his hips. She gasped in surprise. They had never done something like that and she wasn’t sure that she liked it or not.

“Eddard... the bed...” – she tried to encourage him to take her on the bed like all the other times he had done so.

“Too far.” – was all he said, claiming her lips in a bruising kiss. A kiss so passionate that she couldn’t help but kiss him back with the same eagerness, biting his lower lip and driving hms crazy, judging by the way he grabbed her hips. She was certain she would have bruises in the morning, but surprised herself by not caring and even more by being delighted of showing proof of his desire for his queen. They kept kissing and now their hands started exploring the other’s body. Cersei had beaver really touched her husband’s body, letting him do all the touching, but now she will herself to stop. She needed to feel all of him. And he felt the same.

For the first time, she felt really wet between her legs and was beyond desperate to have him inside of her. Since he didn’t do more that touch and kiss her, she was the one who boldly took hold of his cock and positioned him at her entrance, lowering herself until he was all the way in. Both moaned and instead of waiting to get used to his bug cock, she started moving immediately. He held her hips again and helped her move up and down on his cock, faster and harder with each passing second.

By now Cersei was already screaming her pleasure, but it still wasn’t enough. She needed, she actually didn’t know what, but she needed something to take her over the edge

“Ned... Ned...” – she called, not knowing how to ask him for more. He seemed to understand her though, because he made her stand up, pulling out of her tight passage. She groaned, disappointed for not having him deep within her anymore. He guided her to the nearest flat surface and turned her around, bending her over and pushing into her once again, reaching deeper still inside her. She screamed again, scratching the table surface in a vain effort to find something to hold on to.

“Ned...” – she whimpered pitifully, completely numb from all the pleasure she was feeling. Her husband rested his chest against her back, trapping her completely and she loved it.

“Tell me what you want, Cersei.” – he said, nipping at her neck and shoulders. She shook her head, refusing to be the one cave in. It would be a wound to her Lannister pride. But when he stopped moving and simple kept kissing her skin, she lost it.

“Harder, Ned... please... fuck me harder.” – she begged, trying in vain to move her hips.

Her husband didn’t disappoint her. He stood straight again and started thrusting as hard as he could. All that could be heard now was the sound of skin slapping skin and his wife’s whimpers. He lowered his hand from her hip to her clit, driving her wild and sending her over the edge instantly, feeling her trembling with the aftershocks. He came after her, filling her with his seed and making her moan when she felt him pulsing against her walls.

When they finally calmed their heartbeats, Ned stepped away and carried her to the bed. He was just about to turn around and get dressed when Cersei grabbed his wrist.

“Stay... please.” – she asked.

He was pleasantly surprised. Until now, she had never asked him to stay the night with her and he had never pushed. Maybe, Ned thought, now things would change. He lifted the furs and lay down, letting her rest her head on his chest and while he caressed her naked back.

It didn’t take long for them to feel drowsy and just before falling asleep Cersei realised that for the first time in her marriage, she hadn’t spared a single thought to her brother.

She snuggled closer to her husband and found she was happy with that.

 

* * *

 

After that night, things changed completely for the couple indeed.

She still saw her father every morning and was constantly reminded of how important having an heir was. She had always understood that, but little by little she started thinking that it would be lovely to have a baby half her and half Ned, instead of just thinking of him as the key to the Northtern Kingdom. She didn’t said that to her father, of course. She wasn’t stupid.

Apart from spending time with Tywin, she began to take part in the king’s council, having been invited by her husband himself. To know that he trusted her to do this changed her opinion of him and soon she was more determined than ever to win over her subjects, often leaving the castle and visiting the villages that surrounded the capital. It wasn’t long before they accepted and loved their new queen, which in turn endeared her to her husband.

Their relationship had also changed a lot. Now, as soon as he entered her chambers, she attacked his lips and took him with her to the bedroom where she didn’t think twice to take control. He particularly loved having her on top of him, wild and inhibited, taking everything she wanted from him and giving all of herself in return.

And soon came the day when she simply never let him return to him chambers. That was day she found out she was with child.

For days she had felt sick and struggled to get out of bed in the mornings but hadn’t said anything for fear of it not being what she thought. When Maester Luwin finally confirmed her pregnancy, she didn’t wait for him to finish talking and went to find her husband and tell him the good news.

To say that he was happy would have been an understatement. He was so elated he didn’t care that they were in the middle of the training yard. He just hugged her and kneeling in front of her, he buried his face in her belly, kissing it reverently over her dress. She couldn’t stop her tears of happiness and hugged him close to her, bending to kiss the top of his head repeatedly.

Her father had also been happy, obviously for knowing he was the grandfather of the future king in the North, a far more prestigious position that being the Hand of King Rhaegar. He decided then to return to King’s Landing and ask his master to allow him to release him from his duties so he could settle in the North and could help his darling daughter in what would surely be a difficult time. When he told Cersei, she saw through his lies and worried.

Unfortunately, Tywin didn’t enjoy his victory for long.

With his goodson’s permission he had organised a hunt in honour of the future prince. The king had wished to attend but at the last minute Cersei hadn’t felt so well and had begged him to stay with her. He could never deny her anything, much less now that she was carrying his son or daughter.

The hunt was a success and the men were already returning to Winterfell when they were attacked by a group of bandits. There was nothing they could have done to save themselves and in the end all but one of Tywin’s servants survived and was barely able to return to inform the king. Eventually he died too after telling him what he had witnessed.

Cersei had been devastated. Despite his many faults, she had loved her father and now he was gone. Ned tried to comfort her but nothing seemed to work for she couldn’t see past her sorrow. She even got to the point of getting sick, worrying her husband. But he finally snapped the day she said she wanted to die too and be with her parents.

“Are you insane?” – Ned yelled angrily, shaking her by the shoulders. She tried to escape, but he kept her in place. And she no longer had the strength to fight him. – “Don’t you ever say that Cersei. Don’t you dare!”

“I miss him, Ned.” – she cried.

“I know. But you have to live for our child. I won’t lose you or the baby just because you’re being stubborn.” – he finished harshly, letting her go and leaving the room quickly.

Since that night and for the next two weeks he didn’t return to their chambers. She thought of his words and felt ashamed of her behaviour, but whenever she tried to talk to him during the day, he simply looked at her sadly before leaving the room.

One of those nights, she finally saw herself in a mirror and couldn’t recognize the woman in front of her. She was too thin, with bags under her eyes and her alabaster skin now looked as pale as a ghost. Even her hair looked different, dirty and no longer shiny. She was absolutely horrified by the woman in the mirror and finally understood her husband’s concern.

She wrapped herself in her thickest robe and went in search of him, finally finding him in what had previously been his room.

“I’m sorry.” – she apologised, entering the room. He was looking out the window, but she knew he had heard her. She came closer and hugged him from behind, hiding her face between his shoulder blades.

Ned tried to stay still, but as soon as Cersei started crying softly, he turned around and hugged her, kissing forehead, her cheeks and finally her mouth.

“I’m sorry, my love.”

“Hush... it’s okay. It’s okay.” – he whispered to her ear.

“I’ll be better. I promise I’ll be better.”

“I know, sweet wife. I believe you.” – he said, covering her lips with his. Minutes later he picked her up and took her back to their chambers, where they spent the rest of the night loving each other.

 

 

Ned had gathered a group of his best soldiers to find the men who had attacked Tywin and the rest of the hunt party. It wasn’t hard to find them since they were just about to attack a small village. The king’s men fought the bandits and once they were defeated, King Eddard himself executed them on behalf of his wife. Once he and his men returned to Winterfell, he sent a raven to King’s Landing informing King Rhaegar of the executions.

He also arranged to have Tywin’s body sent to Casterly Rock and when his wife ask him to bring her brothers, he sent them a letter inviting them to stay with them for a while. Now the three siblings were orphans, she needed to have them near her. It took them approximately two weeks to arrive in Winterfell and when they did, Cersei hugged them both fiercely, relieved to see them after so long. But she noticed there was something strange in the way Jaime had hugged her. It had been more desperate than was expected from a brother, but she let it pass. She was sure it had been just her imagination.

They were shown to their rooms and despite the cold weather, they got used to the northern way of life quickly. Cersei had decided not to tell them yet about her pregnancy and Ned had accepted her decision, however weird he thought it was. She continued doing her activities regularly and surprising everyone, especially Jaime, when she spent all her free time with Tyrion, playing with the child or reading him his favourite stories. She even took care of putting him to bed every night before returning to her husband.

One night, Ned asked her about her behaviour. She had, of course, told him how she had always struggled with the mixed feelings she had for the little one. She confessed that now they didn’t have their father, she didn’t want her brother to feel alone. And that now she was to be a mother, she felt ashamed of the way she had treated him and how afraid she was something similar could happen to their child. He understood but didn’t have the chance to do so since she rolled on top of him and claimed his lips. The rest of the night was spent between moans, screams and declarations of love.

 

 

By the time she was four months pregnant, she could no longer fool herself. There was definitely something wrong with her older brother but every time she tried to talk to him he simply excused himself and left. This continued for a whole week, until Ned had to travel to deal with a dispute up north.

Jaime himself looked for her, finding her in Tyrion’s room, helping him change into his night clothes. After she finished with him, Jaime accompanied her to her chambers and there she waited for him to start talking.

“Do you remember... your last night in King’s Landing?” – he asked. Indeed she remembered, but since falling in love with Ned she had only wished to forget it ever happened.

“I do.”

“I’m ready, Cersei.” – he came closer to her and took her hands in his.

“What are you talking about?”

“Now that father is gone we can do whatever we like.” – Jaime explained. – “Tyrion could be heir of Casterly Rock and I could stay here. We would be together for the rest of our lives.”

“Don’t say such things, Jaime. It is wrong.” – she exclaimed, suddenly nervous but trying to make him see reason.

“How can it be wrong if I love you? And I’ve missed you so much, sweet sister.”

“I think you should go.”

“I’m not leaving until I give what you have always wanted.” – he said walking towards her again and trying to trap her between his body and the door.

“Please leave, Jaime.” – she realised his intentions and moved quickly to the other side of the room.

“Come on, Cersei. You practically begged me to make you mine in King’s Landing. Now I am offering you my all and you reject me.” – he got near again.

“My husband...”

“This place is big enough and that idiot king of yours would never even notice when you and I find secret places to love each other.” – he tried to convince her. – “We could even have a child together and he wouldn’t even know it.”

At the mention of children, Cersei walked to him and slapped him hard.

“You will never speak of Ned like that, do you hear me? – she told him, barely able to contain her anger. – “And just so you know, I am already expecting a child. Ned’s child.”

“What?” – Jaime asked incredulously. It just couldn’t be true.

“Ned and I are having a child. And I love my husband and won’t betray him like this.”

“But... you said you loved me. You love me.”

“I thought I loved you. And you don’t know how happy I am that you rejected me that night for I have a husband who adores me and who I adore in return.” – she admitted, opening the door, waiting for him to get the hint and leave.

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but in the end he decided to leave, making her sigh in relief. But just as went past her, he grabbed her and kissed her, bruising her lips and making her cry out in pain.

“I won’t give up.” – he swore and left, leaving a frightened Cersei laying on the floor.

The next two weeks were difficult for Cersei. She was afraid by what had happened that night and because of it she tried not to stay alone with Jaime. She was always accompanied by soldiers or by her handmaidens and she even made soldiers guard her at night, even though she barred the door before going to bed.

She knew she couldn’t continue like that, especially now she had received a raven from her husband informing her of his return. So she decided to put her plan in action to be free of her brother and the fear she felt.

 

 

The day of her husband’s return, she put on one of her best gowns and lay her crown of top of her head, leaving her long blond tresses loose, just the way Ned liked it. Then she went to the yard with her handmaidens so she would be the first person he saw upon arrival. He had barely dismounted his horse when she was already hugging and kissing him, forgetting her lessons in decorum. She had missed him terrible and needed the comfort only his words and his arms could give her.

That night they lay in bed, after they had finished making love for the second time. She took a deep breath and raised her head to look directly into his eyes.

“Ned, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” – he replied, making her smile.

“I was thinking that my brother should go home soon. With father’s death, he is now Lord of Casterly Rock.”

“I am aware of that and before my departure King Rhaegar sent a letter asking for your brother’s return. But I thought you would like to have them here longer.” – he stated, quite confused with her statement.

“I do! It’s just that... well, he was father’s heir and he needs to take care of his people. It’ his duty and no matter how much I’d miss him, you’ve taught how important it is to put our people’s well-being before ours.”

“Never before yours, my queen.” – he kissed her. – “But you are right. I am sorry to see your younger brother go, thought. I’ve seen how you like spending time with him and he and Benjen had become very good friends.”

She had also thought of that and she continued talking.

“I was thinking Tyrion could be raised here. As your ward. King Rhaegar won’t refuse you if you asked him since it would only strengthen the ties between both kingdoms.” – she said, hoping with all her heart he would accept.

“I think it would be a good idea. But I would have to petition Rhaegar first.” – he reminded her.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” – Cersei repeated, resting her upper body on top of him and kissing him wherever she could reach.

 

* * *

 

The King in the South thought as Cersei and allowed Tyrion to stay with them and be raised as Ned’s ward. He asked, however, that Jaime travelled back to King’s Landing as soon as possible.

By that time, Cersei’s belly had started to swell and all the people in Winterfell and the other great houses in the kingdom were eagerly awaiting the birth of Ned’s heir. Jaime hadn’t tried to come near her since her husband had returned, lifting a huge weight off Cersei’s shoulders.

The day when Jaime was to leave for King’s Landing came and the king and queen plus Prince Benjen and Tyrion as well as the rest of their household stood in the yard watching as the leaving party finished arranging their horses and the supplies needed for their travel. Cersei was holding Tyrion’s hand but left him with Ned before walking to her brother and hugging him.

“I love him, Jaime. Only him.” – she said. – “But you will always be my dear brother.” – she whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek before releasing him and returning to her family.

Tyrion also said goodbye to him, being followed by the king and the prince, although their farewells weren’t as warm as Tyrion’s, who was going to miss him very much, but was also happy to stay with his newfound friend Benjen, with whom he could play and behave like a normal child. Something that would never happen at home.

Jaime mounted his horse and smiled sadly at Cersei before ordering his men to start riding.

Cersei, on her part, snuggled to her husband, taking his free hand to rest it on her swelling belly and kissing him softly, thanking him without words for the child that was safely growing in her womb and for allowing Tyrion to remain with them.

When Jaime crossed the gates of Winterfell, he knew that it would be a long time, if ever, until he got to see his beloved again, so he looked back one last time and quickly turn back again when he saw her kiss her husband and then pull him and the children towards the castle to keep living the rest of their happy lives.

 


End file.
